Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
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I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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