where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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