did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
