How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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