...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
