I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
