yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
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Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize