so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
