you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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