Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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