brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
