is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Houston, we have a blender
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
