Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
