Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
