Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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