We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
vagina is talking i cant
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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