I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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