i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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