Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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