I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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