What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize