like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
