note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Such a big mess for such a small penis
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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