Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
