Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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