If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
