omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
two words: eviction party
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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