3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
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I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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