you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
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I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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