TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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