He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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