True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize