either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
