omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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