Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
