So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
