I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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