Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
