i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
