I'm drive I can fine osifer
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize