Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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