i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
