call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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