I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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