too bad you live with your parents still
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
