I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
