? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
