thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
