Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
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She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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