We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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