Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Operation Purity has been aborted
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
