I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize