He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
