is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
