You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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