school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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