Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
