She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
