what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
