He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
