saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I smell stomach acid.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
