she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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