i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
