Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
